Sweet Home Sweet Home

I have a lot of unpacking left to do, but I have arrived. I will fill in details on my next post -update - update - update. I just wanted to let anyone out there know that I am still alive.

Ok, so maybe it is a little bit crazy to buy new furniture BEFORE moving back across country. But! Since they (the company) is paying for me to move and paying the movers and for the cargo shipping -- I figured what the heck?

One of my sisters took care of the arrangements for an apartment on a short-term lease - until I find a house to buy. Tell me it will all work out. Lie if you have to.

I am very tired, so I am going to sleep now. I plan to try to post a little more frequently once I am back on Pacific Coast time!

Mood: Anxious | Music: Lifehouse - You and Me

What's on My Mind?

The agony of decision making...

I remember meeting him for the first time. It was at my sister's. My brother in law had invited a friend over, my sister had invited me over. To this day I am still not sure it wasn't a planned "fix up".

He was fairly quiet, but not in the sense that he was unfriendly or didn't talk. He seemed to walk around and talk to everyone at the party. What stood out most - or what I noticed right away was the sound of his laugh.

At different intervals during that evening, I could hear it over the voices of the other guests. It made me smile, without even knowing what had made him laugh. It just had that quality to it. I couldn't help but smile each time I heard it that night.

We spoke briefly that evening. He joined me out on the deck when I had escaped another party guest. It was several weeks before I saw him again - the second time was at my sister's home, like the time before. The second time was a lot more intimate since there were only 6 people there rather than 20-30.

We talked about many things - and shared a few stories. and best of all - we laughed. I thought about him today when I heard a laugh that was similar. I was tempted to call him just to see if it would still have that affect on me.

Mood: Complacent | Music: Nnenna Freelon - If I Had You

Celebrate

I'm having a sort of bored weekend... and it's a long one too. Right now I am wishing that I had recognized the forsight to have purchased airline tickets west - We have another month before work gets busy again.

I need to go out with some friends - find something to do. Any suggestions?

Where are my Counting Sheep?

It's three a.m. and I cannot fall back asleep. I stayed up late talking online, oddly enough the conversation flip-flopped around and kept going back to A. I don't know if the person I was speaking with did that on purpose (avoidance, maybe) or if he was just curious about the why and how of A. and myself. Then we were all sucked into a chatroom where I talked to A. for the first time in about a week. We all sat around and told (purposely) bad jokes and then I signed off and went to bed at eleven (thirty) and by eleven thirty five I think I was sleeping.

I'm feeling a little confused this morning. I wish I coudl grab that last hour of sleep, but I'm fairly sure that I'm done until tomorrow night.

This house smells funny, like feet. I wonder who is causing it.

Mood: Nostalgic | Music: Josh Groban - You're Still You

Who are you calling FAT?

Today at work, I was standing between a computer work station and a wall. To the right of the workstation is an office copier/printer/networked thing. If a person is standing at or sitting in the chair at the workstation, there is no room for anyone to gain access to the workstation.

So, I was standing in front of the workstation, since my task would only take a few minutes, and I was leaning over the desk. Kathy, a lady at work. slaps my but and says "move your fat ass, I need to get by."

I was shocked. I was beyond shocked. I'm 5' 4" I wear a size Six. I don't think my ass is fat. Or is it? I can't see my ass. Please, tell me if anyone else thinks that is a really really rude thing to say?

Mood: Flabby | Music: Shakespeare's Sisters - Stay

My Feet Hurt.

What a hectic day THAT was! I walked in the door @ 8:40 and one of the girls says, "Oh my god I'm glad you're here! I think I broke the internet!" She went on to explain that she can't get ANY of the computers to connect to the internet. Then she answered her own questions (and the few I had) by saying that "I called the DSL company and they said that starting today customers have to sign in with their full account user name and password, but don't you need software for that?" I told her Not if you use a router and PPE or something. (PPPoE). Mind you - I am NOT the I.T. person in the office...

I was able to figure out how to put the router IP address in the browser and get to its little sign in page but NOBODY knew the password. I tried all of the things that would be obvious. Nothing worked. So we all ran around explaining to the account reps that NO they can't have it NOW because there is no internet. That means that if someone e-mailed you something, it is stuck. You can't go get it until its fixed so go away and stop harassing me about it. This woman (top account rep brings in all the big accounts for donations and such) must have asked me about it EVERY hour.

Mood: BRAIN-DEAD-tired | Music: The Black Eyed Peas - Lets Get Retarded

Heading Home in the Morning...

My friend's wedding was beautiful (Saturday). Everyone had a great time and everything went as planned (no drama).

This is the dress I wore to visit A on Monday afternoon.

It's obvious that our feelings for eachother still exist and I have decided that I am not going to be dating anyone for a while. Since R. is a selfish moron and I am going to chalk that whole thing up to experience and put it in a locked drawer.
(it's midnight here, and 3 am in boston. Don't let the time stamp confuse you.)

Mood: Nervous | Music: 10,000 Maniacs - Circle Dream

Ciao Boston...

Going to be in WA for the holiday weekend -- returning Wednesday most likely.

Hindsight

L is for Loser.
Where did I put that UNDO button?

20 Minutes of my Life that I Would Like Back

(Adult Content Advisory)

This is a sensitive topic, and I have tried my best to be as vague as possible but still clear enough for an adult to understand it. I have substituted several terms, and replaced them with italicized wording, many of them are "yadda yadda" type terms. It is meant to be shared in humor (laugh with me, not at me). If you read it, and you really, really don't get it, then you are probably one of the lucky ones that has never had something like this happen. -janelle

There is not really a gentle way to put this, but I will do my best. I moved out here in February, and at the end of April I was introduced to a man I'll call (R.). He seems very nice, has good manners an although he tends to speak of himself often, he is a fairly good conversationalist. So, we've been dating just about a month now, and had our first night recently. All I have to say about this is -- for once in my life, I was glad that he slipped out the door once I pretended to fall asleep.

I do not have an extensive vitae when it comes to these matters. I have been rather particular and choosy, and I'm not really sure what provoked me to jump off the deep end this time; but I did.

When he kissed me goodnight after our second date (almost a month ago) it was a nice enough kiss, soft and not pushy, just enough lighting, etcetera). This time, I thought he was trying to push his skull into mine in an attempt to crush my head. He pushed his entire tongue in and his lip was under my nose in such a way that I literally had to push him back so I could breathe. I should have said adios at that point, and I'm not really sure why I didn't.

Not too long after that the interlude began. His hands, though the skin was not calloused, were clumsy and unskilled. (think about your last mammogram and that was what that was like. Then he stabbed his way through the rest, and in another ten minutes everything was done. The saddest part is - he actually showed signs of being proud of himself.

It's Better than a Spoon of Sugar!

I just ate a giant spoon of peanut butter. I haven't done that since I was a kid. It satisfied my craving for something sweet, and made me feel better.

I'm doing well, happy for the most part... but (you knew that was coming, right?)... the people I work with can be so annoying.

It's just typical gossipy B.S. really. "Judy" tends to be into everybody's business - all of the time. Every time she hears something she files it away, so she can tell everybody else. This includes the conversations she over-hears that were not meant for her to even know about in the first place.

Judy's husband is the same way. Both of them gossip gossip gossip. Everything that Judy says begins with any one of the following:
"Did you hear about..."
"Don't tell anyone, but..."
"Have you HEARD?"

Frankly, I am frustrated with the whole mess. Yesterday, she was telling me about a friend of mine, who has a little boy who is very sick. I told her, "No, I didn't hear. That is really awful. But it probably was not up to you to tell me, being that ________ is a friend of mine and I'm sure if she wanted me to know she would tell me."

Judy said, "You're right it's not my place, and I probably am nosing in where I don't belong. But I thought you already knew."

(If someone is willing to kick her in the head for me I'll give you the rest of this jar of peanut butter.)

Mood: Ranty | Music: Eagles - Witchy Woman

I'm Back in Boston.

boston3
Originally uploaded by justjanelle.

Anyway, I'm here. I am already homesick. I miss A. I am not sure if this was the right choice but I'll deal with it on a daily basis I guess.

I hope to have a little more time than I did over the summer, and give you updates a little more often.

Mood: Busy

Man Alive These People are Idiots!

The housemates seem to think that every night should be a party.
Every day I come home and there are people all over the livingroom. It's as if these idiots are living away from home for the first time ever.
(Picture college life)

I'm considering getting and installing a lock on my bedroom door. Keyhole doorknob type thing. I worry that the housemates will take offense to it. It isn't them I don't trust, it's the drunken friends that are always coming in and out. A lot of them are just people that show up; so it isn't always the same people.

I suppose I'll have to discuss it with them. All we need is afew cameras and a major TV network and we'd be as dramatic as 'Big Brother.'

Mood: Annoyed | Music: Dido - Thank You

Two Desserts is NOT a Bad Thing.

My mother finally calmed down and stopped ranting over having two desserts for Christmas.

It wasn't so bad I guess but my sister and my mother cannot sit in the same room without arguing the ENTIRE time.

Lately, I'm very sad. I have to decide in less than a month and I still don't know what I really want. If I was the only person that I needed to consider (not family or friends or anything) I would be gone tomorrow. Because THIS job is everything I have worked for and it is the goal I had set for myself (or it is along the lines of the goals)--you know what I mean?

This is the worst.

Mood: Gloomy | Music: Free to Decide - The Cranberries