Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I see you have posted recently. I am glad to see you are getting back to some of the things you love(d).  For a while, I forgot my gmail password -- because as you know, I do not use gmail very often.

As for me, I have not been doing much-other-than work.

Maybe I will post more in the near future.


Thursday, May 09, 2013

Lost in Thought...

Oh, I apologize, I forgot you were there. My life has been busy... kind of. However, I cannot say what I've been busy with. Don't confuse that with "it's a secret", it is not the case... it is just that I honestly have not been DOING anything with my time, other than work, reading / or / watching TV and going to the gym. I hope to get back to writing soon, but generally my inspiration to write comes from (not surprisingly) his posts. And I know I shouldn't let it come to that, or depend on that (whatever word fits better), but it kind of does. I still can't fix the past, and I still can't seem to get his attention in the way I once had it. Work keeps me fairly busy, which is good. Most of my friends are either married, or divorced with kids, or in a relationship of some kind or another... and while they usually invite me to come along, I am not wanting to sit there as the third wheel. I don't really have a plan, but I hope to change things with this soon.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I'm working my way back in...

I still love Bert, and I have a feeling that I always will. He posted (I believe it was yesterday), and he seems so unlike himself. Sad, and withdrawn -- and that is really not his style. I am concerned for him. I plan to more-or-less corner him and see if I can get him to meet with me somewhere so I can get him to talk about all that is plaguing him.

I feel bad, because this is a hard time of year for me, and I tend to shut-down and not pay attention to anyone else in the world, kind of just simmering in my own sorrow. Sometimes I forget that he was involved in all of that - and he lost as much as I did -- although I don't think I have EVER admitted that until now.

Anyway -- I'm gonna try to get him out of his house THIS AFTERNOON, if possible.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Oh, Yah? Well...

I'm not really loving life so much at this time. As a matter of fact, it really f-king sucks.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

I know, I know...

... and I WOULD apologize, but to get into it would take too much out of me. I have been through a lot in the past year. I will just summarize, and -- in time, I MIGHT come back and write about some of it in more detail.

Since all that happened (before the ear wig - the things that matter in life are all that matter)... I was back in Boston for a while, had been seeing a man for a while, got engaged (again, not to Bert this time), called that off, and moved back to Portland.

I'll just say that the man I thought was the one (the latest one I was engaged to, not Bert), along with my so-called-BEST FRIEND -- decided to get to KNOW one another. SO, I called BULLSHIT, and left. I have not spoken to either of the two since.

Bert, on the other side of my globe of life, has a lady friend, and stated that even if he wasn't (involved with someone), he would not put himself in a position for me to use him in such a way that fit my momentary fit of fancy -- just to change my mind again later anyway. --- That is not exactly a QUOTE from Bert, but more or less, that is what he said. I think I was a little wine-buzzed when I called him to suggest the idea of reconciling, so I am unable to remember exactly he phrased his feelings on the subject.

I do, however feel I should state that Bert is a master of words, and it did not sound as harsh as that does, -- even though that is the true interpretation of his words once you pick out the buffers with which -- he is known to deliver them.

I miss where my life was. I feel a bit lost, and don't know how to get back to where I was. I know that I left in a fit of whirlwind emotion, when in all honesty, Bert was more than willing and capable of working through the issues at hand.

Once again, I got so tied up with my immediate emotion that I dropped everything and tried to run away, just to find that all of my problems travelled to Boston and waited for my arrival. I need to learn to FACE these problems, because most of the time - you cannot run from them.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Ok... now that 3 hours has passed, I am finally able to type this out without freaking out. I'll start with some backstory, because I feel it is relevant to the rest of what I have to say.

When I was a kid, my older sister told me that these ugly things were called earwigs because they crawl into people's ears and EAT THEIR BRAINS, and then they crawl out the other ear. I believed this for the LONGEST time... seriously, I think I was out of high school before someone told me that this was not the case.

This morning, I got out of the shower, wrapped my body in one towel, and wrapped my hair in the slightly smaller towel. I walked to the kitchen, started the coffee maker, made and ate a piece of toast, ate the toast, and then walked back to the bathroom to get ready for work.

I put on my clothes, and then took the towel off my head. Right away, I spotted it. ON the towel was an earwig. A huge earwig on the towel ON THE SIDE of the towel that was on my head.