OHMIGOD!

Ok... now that 3 hours has passed, I am finally able to type this out without freaking out. I'll start with some backstory, because I feel it is relevant to the rest of what I have to say.

When I was a kid, my older sister told me that these ugly things were called earwigs because they crawl into people's ears and EAT THEIR BRAINS, and then they crawl out the other ear. I believed this for the LONGEST time... seriously, I think I was out of high school before someone told me that this was not the case.

This morning, I got out of the shower, wrapped my body in one towel, and wrapped my hair in the slightly smaller towel. I walked to the kitchen, started the coffee maker, made and ate a piece of toast, ate the toast, and then walked back to the bathroom to get ready for work.

I put on my clothes, and then took the towel off my head. Right away, I spotted it. ON the towel was an earwig. A huge earwig on the towel ON THE SIDE of the towel that was on my head.