... and I WOULD apologize, but to get into it would take too much out of me. I have been through a lot in the past year. I will just summarize, and -- in time, I MIGHT come back and write about some of it in more detail.
Since all that happened (before the ear wig - the things that matter in life are all that matter)... I was back in Boston for a while, had been seeing a man for a while, got engaged (again, not to Bert this time), called that off, and moved back to Portland.
I'll just say that the man I thought was the one (the latest one I was engaged to, not Bert), along with my so-called-BEST FRIEND -- decided to get to KNOW one another. SO, I called BULLSHIT, and left. I have not spoken to either of the two since.
Bert, on the other side of my globe of life, has a lady friend, and stated that even if he wasn't (involved with someone), he would not put himself in a position for me to use him in such a way that fit my momentary fit of fancy -- just to change my mind again later anyway. --- That is not exactly a QUOTE from Bert, but more or less, that is what he said. I think I was a little wine-buzzed when I called him to suggest the idea of reconciling, so I am unable to remember exactly he phrased his feelings on the subject.
I do, however feel I should state that Bert is a master of words, and it did not sound as harsh as that does, -- even though that is the true interpretation of his words once you pick out the buffers with which -- he is known to deliver them.
I miss where my life was. I feel a bit lost, and don't know how to get back to where I was. I know that I left in a fit of whirlwind emotion, when in all honesty, Bert was more than willing and capable of working through the issues at hand.
Once again, I got so tied up with my immediate emotion that I dropped everything and tried to run away, just to find that all of my problems travelled to Boston and waited for my arrival. I need to learn to FACE these problems, because most of the time - you cannot run from them.
